Saturday, August 21, 2010

An Aside: Lesson From the Alchemist


Interlude
So before I tell what happened after I hung up the phone with WV, I want to take a brief second to share an excerpt from a book I recently read called "The Alchemist." Its a great fable thats had a big impact on me this summer because it talks so squarely about a topic all of us can relate to in some way or another: following your dreams. Whether that's something you've given modest attention to in your life, wrestled with directly, or have simply avoided all together, the idea of "following your dreams" is pretty tricky for most of us.

The story talks about an Andalusian boy (Andalusia is in Spain) that wants to become a shepherd for the sole purpose of following his dream - which is travel. One day, he sets off an a journey from Spain into North Africa (how ironic), to find people that can help him interpret his dreams and discover his "treasure," which he was apparently told sits at the bottom of the Pyramids. On this journey, he encounters many types of people who teach him about life and the value of developing perspective. In the following section, an old man tells this fella' a story about the secret of happiness...

Excerpt from "The Alchemist"
...“Take these,” said the old man, holding out a white stone and a black stone that had been embedded at the center of the breastplate. “They are called Urim and Thummim. The black signifies ‘yes’ and the white ‘no.’ When you are unable to read the omens, they will help you to do so. Always ask an objective question.
“But, if you can, try to make your own decisions. The treasure is at the Pyramids; that you already knew. But I had to insist on the payment of six sheep because I helped you make your decision.”
The boy put the stones in his pouch. From then on, he would make his own decisions.
“Don’t forget that everything you deal with is only one thing and nothing else. And don’t forget the language of the omens. And, above all, don’t forget to follow your destiny through to its conclusion.
“But before I go, I want to tell you a certain story….”

“A certain shopkeeper sent his son to learn about the secret of happiness from the wisest man in the world. The lad wandered through the desert for forty days, and finally came upon a beautiful castle, high atop a mountain. It was there that the wise man lived.
“Rather than finding a saintly man, though, our hero, on entering the main room of the castle, saw a hive of activity: tradesmen came and went, people were conversing in the corners, a small orchestra was playing soft music, and there was a table covered with platters of the most delicious food in that part of the world. The wise man conversed with everyone, and the boy had to wait for two hours before it was his turn to be given the man’s attention.
“The wise man listened attentively to the boy’s explanation of why he had come, but told him that he didn’t have time just then to explain the secret of happiness. He suggested that the boy look around the palace and return in two hours.
“‘Meanwhile, I want to ask you to do something,’ said the wise man, handing the boy a teaspoon that held two drops of oil. ‘As you wander around, carry this spoon with you without allowing the oil to spill.’
“The boy began climbing and descending the many stairways of the palace, keeping his eyes fixed on the spoon. After two hours, he returned to the room where the wise man was.
“‘Well,’ asked the wise man, ‘did you see the Persian tapestries that are hanging in my dining hall? Did you see the garden that it took the master gardener ten years to create? Did you notice the beautiful parchments in my library?’
“The boy was embarrassed, and confessed that he had observed nothing. His only concern had been not to spill the oil that the wise man had entrusted to him.
‘Then go back and observe the marvels of my world,” said the wise man. “You cannot trust a man if you don’t know his house.’
“Relieved, the boy picked up the spoon and returned to his exploration of the palace, this time observing all of the works of art on the ceilings and the walls. He saw the gardens, the mountains all around him, the beauty of the flowers, and the taste with which everything had been selected. Upon returning to the wise man, he related in detail everything he had seen.
“‘But where are the drops of oil I entrusted to you?’ asked the wise man. Looking down at the spoon he held, the boy saw that the oil was gone.
“‘Well, there is only one piece of advice I can give you,’ said the wisest of wise men. ‘The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world, and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon.’”

The Shepard said nothing. He had understood the story the old man had told him. A Shepard may like to travel, but he should never forget about his sheep. The old man looked at the boy and, with his hands held together, made several strange gestures over the boy’s head. Then, taking his sheep, he walked away."

Life's all about balance.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Summer Update

Hey everybody,

Just wanted to dust this thing off and write another entry after about a month and a half. The time that's passed since late June has been pretty weird and full of a lot of random and unexpected turns.

Dream Job in...... West Virginia?
As of my last post, I had just gotten back from my WV interview and was full of enthusiasm about the potential job I found. It was with an economic development organization in the coal fields of Appalachia. I was interviewing to work as a community organizer, researcher, and grant writer for a project that uses renewable energy to stimulate job creation and local ownership in a poor, polluted part of the country. Many of you were keenly aware of my attitude at the time - I was going to use this experience to pursue my dream of working at the intersection of economic development, environmental justice, and sustainability. It seemed like a fitting place to be, at least temporarily, since a lot of my interest in this type of stuff started when I first learned about how dramatically the coal industry - and our nation's addiction to coal - has been affecting Appalachia for the last two hundred years. During the interview, these guys had me interface with everyone from the Mayor of the town to local companies, nationally prominent organizations, and economic development agencies to discuss how we could convene a plan and funding around their idea. While it was kind of a whirlwind that left me burned out by the end of it all, I basically had the position.

Despite the burnout, I was pretty enthusiastic because it was the kind of project that would have brought MLK, Gahndi, Jesus, Buddha,... even friggin Johnny Appleseed... into the same room. And I loved it. It encompassed a lot of my passions and was really inspiring. Based in a mining town, the project was somewhat revolutionary in its own right because of its focus on creating new economic options for people outside of the coal industry. The project was also based in the same town as the notorious coal baron, Don Blankenship (CEO of Massey Energy). It would have given me the opportunity to network, build skills, get seemingly decent pay, interface with a few environmental law firms in town, and clarify some personal interests I'd like to integrate into a long-term career path. Not to mention it would have been great to feature on graduate school applications. That said, I was well on my way into the next step and feeling good about life. All I had to do was return home, relax, sign the contract, and come back to WV after a week of R&R. Right?

WRONG

To make a long story (not so) short, I received the contract on the day my tentative start date was scheduled. Packed and ready to leave in the middle of July, I found the agreement was full of some really weird stuff. And it gave me a really, really uneasy feeling, despite how badly I wanted to go down and how seemingly solid our verbal agreement appeared. So I took a closer look.


Beginning of the Beginning... of the End... of the Beginning... of the... End... of...the...Begin... huh? wait a minute...

All I can say is that if you've ever experienced what its like to get cold feet about a big life decision, you know that it sucks. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure... let me tell you! Its an icy river of dread that washes from your brain, into your gut, through your legs, and out your feet... only to flood the room you're standing in. It has the potential to crumble your entire foundation of confidence. It floods your mind, floods your words, floods everything you've thought was right and trustworthy about the world, situation, or a person... and leaves you kinda numb.

Well anyway, after reading the contract and connecting a lot of dots, that's what started happening to me. It was very strange because I had spent so much time with the organization in West Virginia and they seemed like really decent people. In fact, I felt like we got along really well. So it was difficult to grapple with, because in my heart - I knew this was something I really wanted to do.

Ass Face
Outrageous "performance based" payment structures for completing objectives that weren't yet defined, non-compete clauses that would have barred me from the Sun, Moon, and Stars, reluctance to pay a living wage, and unexpected deviations from verbal agreements were just some of the "goodies" I found in the document. Yipeeeee. Weird part was that this guy also told me he was willing to "bend over backwards" to have me come work for them. I didn't get it. All I knew is that if contract negotiation is about managing perceptions - this organization didn't know its ass from its face.

However, since they kinda sorta promised me my dreams (kinda literally)... it was hard to ignore. I just wanted to sign the darn thing and get going as soon as possible. To hell with my misgivings - I knew what benefits were at stake! Yet, somehow... after putting it all together - I kept coming back to the same conclusion that it was all really, really shady. I tried to reconcile the shadiness with my desire to go down however and still decided that I needed to do it. It felt really weird.

I couldn't concentrate on talking to people, couldn't sleep, couldn't relax, or think of any positives of going beyond the delusions of grandeur I had formulated along the way... nothing was going right. I know it sounds dramatic and all, but literally, I had been searching for an opportunity like this for a really long time. It almost felt destined (not to sound cheesy) since it dropped into my lap at the perfect time and encompassed so many of my interests.

Things Change Again
The uneasiness went away when I learned that they were going to promise me the sun, moon, and stars - yet again. This time it was going to be even better than before, with more pay, interesting scope of work, and better networking opportunities. The dread went away and, in fact, turned into sheer enthusiasm. I couldn't wait to get down even though we had hit a few snags and the process had been unexpectedly dragged out for weeks. They said they would change the contract and all would be good. So I got packed again, this time two weeks later, and was about to sign the contract to go down when bad stuff started happening all over again.

The verbal agreements we came to weren't at all reflected in the contract, I was called a "materialist" for asking why things had changed, was informed that the first contract would have technically been illegal (I had to prod this information out of them), then learned that they'd barely been preparing for my arrival at all... no orientation, no start date... nothing... just a bunch of vagaries and silly shit all over again! (Honestly, the guy tried to convince me later that he meant for "materialist" to be taken as a compliment! "...one who seeks to change the world using material means..." right, dude... and I'm Santa Claus)

So after 6 weeks, when they proposed to change the contents of my offer letter after I already had it in hand, I finally called them out on their BS. This was after getting packed for the second time, basically putting ink down, and preparing to say goodbye to everyone for the millionth time. So yeah - I was frustrated. I raised my voice a little in an honest expression of frustration and right as I said "I don't know how much I can trust you guys" - it was too late - negotiations fell through completely. The dude hung up the phone faster than you could scare off a flock of birds and sent an email five minutes later to "wish me the best on future endeavors." Despite that he and his partner jerked me around for close to two months in some of the most unprofessional ways possible. Standing in my parent's front yard, I threw my phone and sat down in disbelief. All the planning I had done over the previous 2 months was in vain. No job, in Akron, living with my parents, missed opportunities... and nothing but meager ideas about how to reinvent things from here.

Wow. I was furious.

My baby had died and I didn't know what to do.

End Part 1.

...it's late and I'm going to bed... Part 2 to come later!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

North African Adventures, Homeless in ATL, WV Hoopla, Lebron James, and More...

What's up guys,

Thanks for the encouraging responses, snide-remark-friend to boot. Glad I can use this thing to put some thoughts into words and keep up to date with everyone in the process. Jon, if you like I'll paste all my posts into emails so you don't feel like you're getting left behind.

So the last month has been fairly crazy. Been spending time traveling a ton, navigating typical life decisions, developing perspective, reconnecting with old friends, celebrating new ones, evaluating new paths, grounding myself, and just trying to have fun in the process. A lot's gone on in the past month, so I'll try to make this easy.


Trip to Spain and Morocco
End of May - June 15
Left Atlanta on May 30th for a two week sojourn through Spain and Morocco. It was a fantastic trip full of old buildings, wine, art, hiking, biking, swimming, beautiful women, new ideas, Islam, cultural exchange, hookahs, new friends, looking touristy, awkward stares, strange Arabic words, haggling with taxi drivers, haggling with store owners, haggling with normal people, haggling with just about everyone in the f-ing g-dang country of Morocco, getting lost, getting found, boiled snails, broken Spanish, Lonely Planet references, live music, donkeys, writing, countryside excursions, maps, photography, interesting discussion, Berber guides who were unabashedly open about their intentions to marry their cousins, and, well... you get the idea. Bottom line is that the experience was totally awesome.

Over the trip I hit up about 8 different cities - Barcelona, Marrakech, Ourika, Fez, Chefchaouen, Akshur, Asilah, and Tangier, although the main cities were Barcelona, Marrakech, Fez, Chefchaouen, and Asilah. It was sporadically planned for the most part and I realized that it was just fun to be open to new experiences as they presented themselves. My original intention was to take the train up through Morocco, hop on the ferry across the straight, and then travel up through southern Spain back to Barcelona in time for my flight. However, after realizing how much there was to see and do - along with the sheer excitement of flying by the seat of my pants - I decided to take my time in each of the cities I got to upon arriving in Morocco. Just stayed there for the majority of the trip and don't regret it a bit, because I met some fantastic people from all over the world that I wouldn't have met under a more rigorous itinerary.

That being said, the trip was great for three reasons. A, it put a nice stamp on the end of Chapter 1 in Atlanta (don't know when or if Chapter 2 is in the cards). Two, it put many things into perspective regarding the road ahead and left me feeling more eager to tackle new challenges. And D, it was just really awesome to see some new places (Home Alone reference anyone?). To be honest, I don't think I've felt that energized about life in a really, really long time. So if any of you are toying with the idea of cutting ties to travel a bit and clear your head - I'd fully encourage you to do so.

















...because the stuff back here can wait.


Post-Morocco: Leaving ATL; "Small-Town," WV; and Washington D.C.
June 15 - July 3

Leaving ATL
After getting back June 15th I spent the following week putting myself back into an Atlanta rhythm - bouncing between a few friends' couches, breaking things down for my move back up north, enjoying the company of good friends, playing my last time with the band at Veritas, and preparing for my interview with ___________. Basically just floated around between friends places, tying up whatever loose ends I needed to before coming back. With that in mind, let me just say thanks to everyone who put up with me - especially those of you with available couches, cars, trunks, food, beers, and time to spare in helping me sort through the finer matters of transitioning! I came home feeling very grateful for a lot of the people in my life and the sanity ya'll helped me maintain throughout the process. So thanks.

"Small-Town," WV
After leaving Atlanta in a somewhat bittersweet state of mind, I made my way up north around June 22 to stop off in WV for a job interview. Met with this guy ______ at _________, an organization I might be working with this year. I interviewed for a temporary position involving grant writing, research, and community organizing for a few projects they have going on in the area.

The short version is that they're an economic development non-profit doing a lot of work I'm interested in. The long version however, is that I'm still coming to terms with the randomness of it all and the apparent "sacrifice" that will come with living in a place like WV. Since it's not exactly what you would deem as a "cool" place to live, I'm in the process of weighing some pro's and con's and trying to develop perspective on what exactly I want out of the experience. Seems worthwhile though, because I feel like I can learn a ton about myself in the process in terms of what I'm interested in and where I want to go in life. More to come on that later I suppose.

Washington D.C.
After getting to WV, _____ and I headed to DC for a short week to attend a workshop led by the Institute for Energy and Environmental Research. It was a somewhat wonky event that focused on renewable energy economics, environmental justice, and current clean energy solutions being implemented in communities across the country. Met a lot of interesting people and put some important things into context within myself, the prospective WV opportunity, and broader issues in general before heading back to WV to finish up the interview. Definitely grateful for the experience and a lot of the people I met along the way.

In one example, I came across several people from poor communities across the US that have been severely abused by big utilities and the nuclear power / coal industries. After hearing their stories and learning about how they hope to change their situations for the future, I became deeply touched. Whatever it was, the experience helped me to realize that this opportunity with _______ is more than just a short term position - its an opportunity to connect with a passion I've had for social and environmental justice ever since the middle of college. Can't really explain it but its been there for a while, teeming just below the surface. So we'll see. Hopefully the experience with __________ this year will help me see these things in a lot clearer perspective.


Back in Akron, OH
July 3 - Present

Which brings me to my current destination - Akron (ahhhh, just in time for Lebron's much anticipated free-agency announcement...which, by the way, he's holding an hour-long ESPN special this Thursday to break the news. You'd think he was the President or something). So glad to be home and putting time in with a lot of people I haven't seen for a while, although its weird to feel 18 again. I'm really enjoying it though - figure I'd better soak up the late nights, sloth, parental pampering, disc golf outings, Highland Square bars, and home time in the home town while the getting is good. Never took much time to do that after college, so it'll be nice to get some in for now.

Been thinking a lot though lately that if there's anything I'm bad at (beyond the laundry list of the obvious), it's sitting still. There are a lot of people and places here I'm eager to put time in with. There are also a lot more interesting places in the world to be living in than "Small Town," WV. However, I guess I'll just have to take the long view on this one since it seems like I've pretty much made up my mind. I don't know. There's a great story from "The Alchemist" that's put a lot of this into perspective for me lately. I'll probably include that in a later post...

Either way, that's the short and skinny for now. Talk to you guys later.

Drew

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Improving My Writing Skills

'Ello 'ello...

Hey guys :)

So after several attempts of jumping onto the ol' blogging bandwagon, I think I may have finally mustered enough "togetherness" to start one of my own. And I figured I'd bother you all and send out an invite. Why?

Well, in part, for my own edification. I've been writing a lot more this year and there's been an interesting convergence of circumstance in my life that would be great to put into words as time goes on. It'd also be nice to share it with people, because the way I look at it, change is constructive when there's something to learn.

Despite the fact that living in the South may or may not have impacted my proper use of grammar and syntax, I'm also finding that I really like writing. Like, a lot. Traveling earlier this month (along with copious amounts of hashish...kidding!) helped me unclog a lot of mental blockage and this transition out of Atlanta has been really great for figuring out just what's going on in my head. Don't get me wrong, I loved Atlanta and have a set of fantastic friends that I love and am truly thankful for. It's just that since getting back from Morocco and progressing towards other stuff, I'm starting to see my life in a new light that's been out of focus for a while. Goals are the name of the game and I'm just in the process of working towards them. No better time than now to use the momentum I'm feeling to put some into better focus. So anyway, figured I'd create this blog to clue in friends and family members about all that will be going on with me this year.

Lastly, and probably most importantly, I want to find better ways to stay up to date with all of you. After having moved from Atlanta and realizing that I may not even be living in Akron this summer, its weird to think that I'll be untethered (yet again) from many of the important people in my life. I thought I was going to be in Akron during this time, but the opportunity that popped up in WV is proving to be pretty tempting, at least in the short term.

But, its still pretty weird that the WV thing kind of came (rather serendipitously) out of nowhere, considering I've been pushing the Akron mantra since the fall of 2009. This is definitely not where I envisioned myself ending up for now - let me just put that out there - but, I'm learning through the process that sometimes unexpected circumstances are the best ones to embrace if there's a lot you can learn about yourself. That's the way life is sometimes, I guess.

And besides, I really can't complain. Life's been crazy, but also exciting at the same time. So in my mind there's no better way to embrace it than through writing about it along the way. What's going on here in ___________ is really cool. So either way, if I decide to take this position with __________, it should shape up to be an interesting summer.

We'll see you guys - muh-fuggin' coal country. More to come on that later.

Nah who am I kidding... I just want to try and improve my writing skills. Because I hear chicks dig guys with writing skills.

Feel free to drop in whenever.

Drew